


It Was Not A Kiss

by BlessedMasochist



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-05-16
Packaged: 2018-01-25 00:40:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1622744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlessedMasochist/pseuds/BlessedMasochist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kakuzu wished he'd left the idiot in the mud.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Was Not A Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> {Just a silly little fic, anyone who's watched the Emperor's New Groove may recognize a few bits of dialogue}

"For the last time, it was not a kiss."

It had been a confusing battle. Rain poured down upon the participants without mercy, weighing down their clothes and impeding their movements. Hidan had shed his wet cloak without hesitation to initiate his signature battle strategy, but had been knocked into the swollen river a few moments later. Kakuzu had ended the battle himself, dragging his target’s dead body along with him as he searched the banks of the river for Hidan.

He found him a few miles down the river, lying unconscious on the muddy bank. The rain had let up slightly, and Kakuzu sighed, dropping the dead body next to a nearby tree before retrieving his partner. ‘Maybe he’s dead.’ he thought idly, refusing to be hopeful about the situation. He certainly seemed that way. He wasn’t breathing.

Kakuzu glanced around somewhat nervously. Pein had threatened to have him killed if another one of his partners died. “Why me…?” He growled, lying the zealot’s unconscious body on the wet grass. Kneeling over the other man reluctantly, Kakuzu pressed his ear to his chest. There wasn’t a heartbeat. “Brilliant.” he grumbled, tilting Hidan’s head back slightly. He did not want to do this. With a scowl, he parted the other man’s lips and slowly leaned downward. The acrid taste of blood was present, even with the chaste contact. Revolted, Kakuzu breathed air into Hidan’s lungs, then applied compressions. He wiped his lips and grumbled when the other man remained unconscious. He leaned back down and breathed into him again.

As if on cue, the Hidan coughed an obscene amount of water onto the stitched man, eyes fluttering open with a gurgle. The disgusting noise was followed by a loud scream as the jashinist kneed the older man in the stomach. “What the fuck?!” he screeched.

Hidan didn’t let it go, even as they continued to walk along the banks of the river. Kakuzu was growing more and more irritated as he lugged along his target. The zealot was spitting and rubbing at his tongue with his fingers. “For the last time. It was not a kiss!” The miser growled. “Whatever the fuck it was, it was dis-GUSTING!” Hidan hissed, spitting again.

Kakuzu wished he’d left the idiot in the mud.


End file.
